Private Food

Let’s imagine a world where food is produced by the state. Produced and distributed fairly, naturally. All of this is funded from taxes. And suppose, in this world, right here in our Ukraine, an article appears in which the author argues that private food production and distribution is entirely possible and even preferable to state-run alternatives. The text itself, I think, everyone can easily imagine; far more interesting are the comments such a piece would receive:

— The author is a utopian. You just need to tighten control over food production and distribution. The government is already implementing the necessary reforms—look, the SBU recently detained several corrupt officials, everyone saw the report. The National Food Agency has been established. That’s how it’s done everywhere in the world—there’s no private food anywhere. You just need to improve the system and fix its deficiencies.

— Just understand this, author: people WANT this kind of food! Nobody’s protesting against it! They want certainty and confidence in tomorrow! Yes, the food isn’t great, and the social fat content, as it turned out, was calculated using the wrong methodology. But instead of offering something better, you want to forcibly take away what people have and drive them into your kingdom of freedom! You’re a Bolshevik!

— Yeah, I got diarrhea from the social fat content. Damn Petrenko.

— What government? What SBU??? They’re corrupt themselves!!! Only public oversight will save us!! Everyone come out tomorrow to protest Distribution Point No. 5!!!

— Did you see the story last night about Minister Petrenko’s arrest and the manipulation with social fat content calculations? What do you think—were those already reforms in action?

— Raising funds to support food producers. We must not allow famine. PrivatBank card…

— Of course, there’s still not enough food for everyone. But any fool can see it’s because people don’t pay their taxes. Clear cause and effect: taxes → food. If you want change—look in the mirror. Start with yourself, pay taxes like they do in Europe, and then everything will sort itself out.

— The author wants to create a “new man” again. Without a “new man”—someone who takes responsibility for himself and is ready to accept all risks—the idea of private food is utopian.

— If private food production were profitable, the world would have switched to it long ago.

— The whole point is that if you allow private food, you’ll still end up with the same monopoly—only private this time. The market tends toward monopolism, you should know that. At least now there’s some control over them; without it, there’s nothing at all.

— Food isn’t just anything—it’s not some automobile. It’s a necessity, something a person needs every day. And you want to leave this to private enterprise?

— I’d add: food is a strategic resource. It’s a matter of national security. If people have nothing to eat, they will destroy the state—chaos and anarchy will follow. This is obvious to everyone except the author.

— And what will happen to all these current food producers, distributors, and controllers—did you think about that? Where will they find work? How will they be able to buy food? They’ll go rob people!!!

— Minimum fat content for everyone! Party platform of “Tomorrow is Already Yesterday!” Link…

— The author doesn’t understand economics at all. It’s obvious that private producers will buy up all the food, export it, and famine will follow.

— The author could at least read an economics textbook before spouting heresies. We’ll be flooded with cheap imports, and domestic producers will go bankrupt.

— I also don’t understand why reinvent the wheel. There are EU standards for social fat and vitamin content—demand that officials comply with them. Why write proposals that could plunge the country into chaos?

— The very idea of private food is a return to the Middle Ages. Imagine—you’d have to choose from many kinds of food—bread, meat, porridge, broccoli. Every single day. The food you need might not be available, while there’s plenty of the wrong food. You might overeat or undereat, incorrect nutrition—and moreover, regular incorrect nutrition—that’s the sorry fate of these people. Private food is, first of all, very inconvenient, not to mention that public resources are spent irrationally. Public food isn’t a whim—it’s a requirement of the times. Private food is a bygone era, it died out from disuse. People will never agree to private food again.

— He’s clearly working for the oligarchs, isn’t that obvious?

— Demand new vitamin content standards! Sign the Avaaz petition Link…

— We urgently need to solve problems that are burning us right here and now—not engage with ideas that may work or may not. Is there even one country with private food? Where can we see this in action? Once something like that exists, then we’ll look and decide. But right now, we need to fight famine.

— I especially liked where he writes that “calorie content, fat content, and vitamin levels will be differentiated for different products.” Author, what world do you live in? Hey, wake up! Who will force a private producer to care about calorie and fat content, let alone to make them differentiated? What makes you think he’ll do that? I can say for sure he’ll push the same “social fat” slop they’re feeding us now—only for more money! And even worse, since nobody controls him! Welcome to the real world, idiot!

— Social calorie content, fat content, and vitamin content are the price of progress.

— And I also read that there used to be bread, meat, and montpansee.

— Montpansee is a breed of dog, you fool.

— Private food also means private production of its components. If you implement the author’s plan, it turns out you’d have to allow private cultivation—potatoes, for example. Does that mean anyone will be able to grow whatever they want at home? And then what about sugar—will we allow that to everyone? Or tobacco?

— The author’s proposal is typical neoliberalism. Another brick in the wall of inequality, alienation, and anal domination. The rich will stuff themselves with anchovies, artichokes, and avocado, while the poor will eat beets.

— The rich should pay more, I think.

— Sugar in bags. Write in private messages, I’ll give you the delivery location and password. Bitcoin wallet…

— People, hold me! The author isn’t just a dreamer and utopian—he’s an idiot! How will a multitude of unrelated private producers know how much food is needed? We have whole institutions that can barely manage the calculations, everyone knows how hard food is, and now—private producers! Do you want to starve us—just say so!

— Without public food, there is no society. How can a society exist in which everyone eats for themselves?

— The author’s idea might have been sound, but the people aren’t ready yet. We need to cultivate a culture of consumption and production—this could take centuries.

— Yeah, just give our people a chance! They’ll produce such stuff!

— I saw yesterday some guy offering sugar to kids near the school. Author, is this what you want???¹